59 pages • 1 hour read
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Phoebe wakes at three o’clock in the morning, which isn’t unusual for her. She takes Lila’s advice to make one decision at a time; Phoebe feels surprised to learn something from Lila. She brushes her teeth, drinks water, and undresses to her underwear. Phoebe dons the bathrobe provided and heads for the hotel’s hot tub. She pauses at the bookshelf in the lobby, disliking how all books are turned spine-side in for aesthetics. Phoebe turns a copy of Shakespeare’s sonnets spine-side out in rebellion.
A man joins Phoebe in the hot tub; typically, this would cause Phoebe to flee, but she feels most afraid of herself now. He dislikes when Phoebe labels his beard, a product of pandemic isolation, “trendy,” though he’s flirtatious and a good sport about her light-hearted jabs. Phoebe speaks honestly about her pandemic experience, telling the man she drank excessively and failed to care for herself. She also admits she’s not with the wedding party; rather, she traveled to the Cornwall Inn to die by suicide, though she no longer wishes to do so. The man speaks to Phoebe with empathy and without compromising their conversation‘s fun, flirtatious tone. He admits experiencing depression and having thoughts of suicide at a previous time.