Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

Duhigg explores the importance of emotional conversations and how to effectively listen and connect with others on a deeper level. The author begins acknowledging that emotions guide every conversation, often in subtle and unrecognized ways, and that skillful listening can uncover hidden depths and nuances in people’s words.

Duhigg then introduces Nick Epley, a psychology professor from the University of Chicago, who was invited to give a presentation on listening to a group of hedge fund professionals. Epley, who had been a poor listener in his youth, became interested in understanding why people mishear one another and how to convince others to listen.

Duhigg then discusses the “Fast Friends Procedure,” an experiment conducted by Elaine and Arthur Aron in 1995. In this experiment, strangers were paired up and asked to take turns answering a list of increasingly personal questions. The study found that this method of personal self-disclosure was highly effective in fostering camaraderie, and it even led to a marriage between two participants.

Duhigg explains that the key to the effectiveness of the Fast Friends Procedure lies in vulnerability and emotional contagion, a well-documented psychological phenomenon in which humans synchronize their emotions with those expressed by others around them.