PS: I Hate You

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of illness and death.

In PS: I Hate You, Lauren Connolly confronts the complexities of grief, thoroughly exploring it through Maddy’s journey through her grief over Josh’s death. The novel highlights the idea that grief is never a single emotion; for Maddy, it’s physical (asthma attacks), behavioral (workaholism), psychological (guilt, anger, repression), and interpersonal (retreating from or lashing out at loved ones). The novel frames grief as a uniquely individual experience; Maddie’s specific journey through grief reshapes how she sees herself, others, and her future. Even the structure of the narrative, which follows the seasonal passage of time, mirrors the experience of grief as not a linear line but as a cyclical loop. The periods of grief ebb and flow, but they never truly stop.

Grief is a fractured, nonlinear, and deeply personal experience, especially for Maddie Sanderson, whose mourning process defies conventional expressions. From the first pages, Maddie questions herself: “What’s wrong with me? Why haven’t I cried?” (11). This recurring self-inquiry becomes a motif for Maddie’s internal conflict, as she wonders whether her stoicism is strength, emotional repression, or evidence that she’s inherited her mother and grandmother’s coldness.