PS: I Hate You

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of illness and death.

In PS: I Hate You, sweatshirts become a recurring symbol of how Maddie navigates physical and emotional closeness. She repeatedly articulates her discomfort with physical touch, particularly unprompted affection from others. Early on, she states, “I’m not a hugger. Can’t remember a time that I was…I have no instinctual urge to press my body against another’s. And when I’m prompted to, the act feels like […] an act” (63). However, she makes a crucial exception for sweatshirts, which allow her to engage in a rare version of intimacy she can tolerate—the piece of clothing itself, not necessarily the person wearing it, becomes the source of comfort.

This distinction illustrates Maddie’s need for a protective layer between herself and others, highlighting her struggle with The Risks and Rewards of Emotional Vulnerability. The softness of sweatshirts offers a mediated form of connection, symbolizing her desire for closeness on her terms. When Dom wears a hoodie on the anniversary of Josh’s death, Maddie narrates, “And the asshole is wearing a hoodie…it’s impossible for me to do anything other than step forward and slip my arms around his waist” (370). The sweatshirt bridges the gap between Maddie’s emotional resistance and her longing for connection.