PS: I Hate You

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of emotional abuse, mental illness, illness, and death.

Maddie Sanderson, the 26-year-old protagonist of PS: I Hate You, is a complex and relatable character who is shaped by parental neglect, routine emotional and physical abandonment, and grief. At her core, Maddie masks pain and discomfort with humor—often wielding “inappropriately timed humor” and “morbid sarcasm” (5)—as both a coping mechanism and a form of resistance against emotional vulnerability. These traits suggest not glibness but an attempt to maintain control in environments where she once had none. Her wit deflects but doesn’t conceal the deep fractures left by familial neglect and past heartbreak.

Maddie’s internal world is defined by unresolved feelings of abandonment and solitude. Her asthma is symbolic of her fragile, constricted, and easily overwhelmed emotional state throughout the novel. She faces attacks from physical, mental, and emotional stressors; her father never wanted her, and her mother Cecilia and grandmother Florence blame her for his abandonment. Her older brother, Josh, is the only constant in Maddie’s life; he is the only person she has ever been able to rely on without fear of him abandoning her.

Maddie’s insecurities—the false belief that she’s not worth loving or staying for—allow her to be taken advantage of at her workplace.