PS: I Hate You

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of emotional abuse, illness, mental illness, and death.

“Mom releases me so suddenly that I stumble back a step. Not that she notices, too focused on her screen, working on some social post or another about the grieving mother and the surviving daughter she loves oh so much. A firm press on my lower back steadies me. Glancing to the side, I realize Dom has braced me, but before I can hiss at him, he steps away and strides past without a word.”

This moment vividly contrasts Cecilia’s performative motherhood with Dom’s quiet, genuine care. While Cecilia is engrossed in curating her public image of grief, Dom provides unnoticed but real support, emphasizing the emotional gap between Maddie and her mother. The silent interaction also reinforces Dom’s understated presence in Maddie’s life—steadfast yet complicated—hinting at the unspoken emotional threads that still tether them together.

“I need my brother. I hate my brother. The words of his letter cycle through my mind as I desperately search for another meaning. How could this be his final ask? Didn’t he realize losing him would be hard enough? Now he’s demanding I spend however long touring the country with the man I most want to avoid? And Josh doesn’t even have the decency to be here to argue with!”

This passage reflects the theme of Working Through the Complexities of Grief as Maddie grapples with both missing and hating her brother. Her internal conflict captures how loss brings about complicated feelings, especially when the deceased leaves unresolved tasks. Josh’s final request forces Maddie to confront not only his death but also her unresolved history with Dom, intensifying her mourning with layers of discomfort and reluctant obligation.

“Which means that Josh knew before he died and made no mention of it to me. Why wouldn’t he say anything? Am I truly this cut off from what’s going on with the people from my childhood? Isn’t this what I wanted?”

As soon as she was able to, Maddie fled to the opposite coast of the US to get away from the people she once knew. However, she’s beginning to realize after Josh’s death that she perhaps did too good a job at isolating herself from everyone, making herself incredibly lonely. Her isolation highlights how Maddie struggles to be vulnerable, instead preferring to protect herself with distance, developing the theme of