Every Day

A won’t be seeing Rhiannon today; instead, A must go to his grandfather’s funeral instead. This death is clearly devastating for the family. The mother comes in to talk to Marc, to see how he’s doing and to let him know that the father is very upset. When the father comes out of their bedroom, “he doesn’t just look upset—he looks newly blind” (265). As they drive to the funeral, A can access Marc’s memories of the grandfather, remembering the fishing trips, the trips to the zoo, the holidays.

The funeral is powerful for A. S/he thinks about their own life, the fact that no one knows of his existence except for Rhiannon. A is terribly sad to think that no one will know of A’s passing from this earth. There will be no funeral, no gathering of friends and relatives. A sees all the fishermen friends of the grandfather gathered and hears the father tell stories of the grandfather, and A is crying: “No one will ever have known me or what I’ve done” (268). Of course, everyone assumes A’s tears are tears for Marc’s grandfather.

Family and friends head back to the grandfather’s house and continue to remember and tell stories of the grandfather’s life. The family then drives home: “I try to pretend this is my life. I try to pretend these are my parents. But it all feels hollow, because I know better” (269). In the midst of grief, A is jealous of this family, wanting to feel these strong connections that bind them. 

The next day, A is very overweight. A blames Finn’s laziness for his condition, and he is overcome with the difficulty of doing anything when s/he is this overweight. He doesn’t want Rhiannon to see him, but because of the funeral, A was unable to see her yesterday, so A knows s/he needs to meet her, especially “when things feel so precarious between us” (271).

Finn is constantly judged by others around him at school; A thinks they fear becoming like him. Finn does have two best friends, so he’s not completely alone. A goes to the bookstore to meet Rhiannon, and she also is surprised and definitely not pleased by his appearance. A asks her, “Don’t look at the package. Look at what’s inside,” to which she responds, “That’s easy for you to say. I never change, do I?” (273). A reflects silently on that, thinking that people do change when they have different moods, as “if each mood presents a variation” (273).

They go to a movie, but A is aware of how big his body is and how s/he takes up more room than one seat, so s/he moves over a seat to make it more comfortable for both of them. At dinner, Rhiannon tells A that she can’t sense A when s/he has such a huge body. She clearly isn’t attracted to A, when A is Finn. Things remain awkward up until the end of the date.

A is back to normal size as Lisa Marshall and is also relieved because A knows Rhiannon will be more comfortable with her/him this way. At the same time, A feels guilty for judging people based on their looks, just as people judged Finn yesterday. A gets an email from Rhiannon that worries her/him: “We need to talk” (277). The day is full of suspense as A tries to imagine what Rhiannon needs to talk about.

They meet at a park by her school. Rhiannon tells A that she has thought about their relationship, and she doesn’t think it can work out. There are too many obstacles. It’s not only the idea that A is a different person every day that is bothering her. Rhiannon is also upset that she can never tell her friends about A. Also, Rhiannon can never fall asleep at night with A. It is too much for her to deal with.

A tells Rhiannon that s/he has thought about these obstacles as well, and suggests that maybe if they lived in the city, A would have more bodies their age around to inhabit, and A wouldn’t have to travel so far every day in order to see Rhiannon. Of course, this is a long shot because the very nature of A’s existence resists any sort of planning and predictions for the future. Rhiannon realizes this, saying no, it won’t work. She wants to stay in A’s life, but not in a dating relationship. A is crushed, and when A returns home, goes to their room, and locks the door.